Drabbles, anyone?
by Magus732
Summary: Little tidbits of daily life on the Condor...
1. Something's Gotta Give

Max stood on the brink of losing his mind. He'd had enough of it, but he couldn't tell her how he really felt. It would crush her like a ton of concrete.

He loved her with all his heart, but as he dug his nails into the table, he knew he couldn't last much longer. It was just too much! The sound was SO terrible!!

"Starling?" He said, finally biting the bullet.

"Yes, love?"

"Could you _please_ stop humming that song!?"

Author's Note: Writer's block is keeping my other stories down... so, in the meantime, drabbles... :)


	2. Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Wet

Stork stood to one side as Piper and Starling carried their cargo. The 3 of them laughed softly as they slowly inched their way along. Piper almost slipped a few times, but they managed to reach their destination. They all quickly retreated, leaving their cargo alone and unattended. As the door closed behind them, a light rain began to fall.

An occupant slowly stirred from their sleep, and their eyes popped open as they got soaked. When he realized what happened, he growled in frustration.

"YOU'RE ALL DEAD!!!"

Max yelled with anger; he and his bed were on the roof of the _Condor_!


	3. All The Queen's Horses

"It's okay, little ones... Mommy's here..." A female voice cooed as the person fawned over their collection of dolls. She carefully changed the hats on some of their little heads, one after the other, until she was satisfied. They were dressed in a variety of wear; everything from top coats and dress shoes to hooded jackets and hiking boots was represented in the collection.

"Hun, you're starting to scare me..." Her male companion said after a few moments of silence.

"Don't say that, love... they make me happy... besides, they're just SO cute!" The female replied. The male rolled his eyes and walked back to bed.

Starling looked over her collection once more; no pesky buttons would be out of place in _her_ doll collection...


	4. It Sounded Better In My Head

"Aerrow?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are we hiding again?"

"Because, Junko, it's not a surprise if he can see us..."

"I'm telling you, this is a terrible idea..."

"Max!"

"No, he's right... he'll just freak out..."

"Finn, not you too! I thought you, of all people, would appreciate this..."

"Shh, shh, shh! Here he comes!" The whispering finally stopped as someone walked onto the dark bridge. As the lights came on, the hiding Hawks sprung up with cheer.

"Happy Birthday, Stork!" They all yelled. Said Merb jumped up into the rafters, lost his grip, and landed on his head as he hit the floor. The poor guy groaned a bit as he laid there.

"Stork?" Piper said meekly, nudging the unconscious pilot with her foot.

"I told you a surprise party was a bad idea..." Max finally said.


	5. Outtakes, Part 1

_Stratosphere: _Condor_ Takeoff Scene, Take 1_

"Alright, everybody; hang on!" Aerrow shouted over the roar of the engines.

"3, 2, 1, blastoff!" Stork yelled, and as he released the _Condor_'s brakes, the ship screamed down the launch ramp. Unfortunately, they didn't make the ramp long enough.

The _Condor_, and everyone on it, went crashing into the Wastelands... and from above, the director and his assistant could hear the sound of pained groaning.

Finn: "Ow, my spleen!"

Director: "Cut!"

_Stratosphere: _Condor_ Takeoff Scene, Take 2_

"3, 2, 1, blastoff-" The engines grind to a halt.

"I said... BLASTOFF!!!" Stork kicks the panel next to him, and the ship explodes.

Stork: "Can we try that again?"

Director: "CUT!"


	6. Outtakes, Part 2

_Scout's Honor: Stork meets the Sky Scouts, Take 1_

"Uh, that's Griffin..." Scene cuts to Griffin, who leaps over the table doing a loop, and promptly lands on his head, resulting in a sickening crash as he slides into a pile of spare parts nearby.

Director: "Cut!"

_Scout's Honor: Stork meets the Sky Scouts, Take 2_

Griffin tries again, this time performing it without a problem.

"Owlsley..." Aerrow continues. Scene cuts to Owlsley.

"Hey, what's this do?" He pulls one of the levers near the helm and the lights go out in the studio. All inside groan and grumble.

Director: "Cut! Somebody, _please_ find a light switch!"

_Scout's Honor: Stork meets the Sky Scouts, Take 3_

Cuts to scene with Pydge.

"I-I, I love animals... I can... I can... um... I forgot my line!" He says despairingly.

Director: (frustrated) "CUT!"


	7. Unmerry Christmas

After a few minutes of silent staring, the Hawks burst into laughter.

Max muttered angrily to himself, shifting his feet a bit. The unfortunate Onyxian had been picked by his squadron to play the role of Santa in their gift exchange. In addition to the part being humiliating to the warrior, they all had insisted he wear the costume. Starling came alongside, laughing softly as she put a hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon, Max... it's _once_, and we'll never bother you again..." She gave him a comforting smile.

"Promise?" He hissed. She nodded. Finally, the hybrid sighed loudly, and began to say his line dejectedly.

"Ho, ho, ho... merry christma- would you just start already!?" He suddenly yelled, seeming to grow another 2 or 3 feet tall. The other quickly began passing out their gifts, including a few random donation to their un-merry Saint Nick.

"C'mon, Max, where's your holiday spirit?" Piper said between giggles.

"I'll give you 4 fingers of holiday spirit-!" He starting charging toward her, only to be intercepted by Starling.

"Alright, Scrooge, we get it..."

"Next time, _you're_ being Santa..." He said crossly. Just then, an idea hit the hybrid.

"Well, there _is_ still time to go 'down the chimney' before midnight..." He said suggestively. Fortunately, only Starling and Stork caught his meaning.

Author's Note: For those who were paying attention, I hope my phrasing was clear enough you guys got what I meant... I know, it's longer than normal... oh, well...


	8. Ultimate Showdown

"So, it has finally come to this, Aerrow..."

"You know it, Max!"

"All this time, and now we shall find out..."

"You're going down!"

Max and Aerrow picked up their controllers.

"En garde!"

"Let's go!"

"Fight!" And so began the ultimate _Mortal Combat_ showdown...


	9. Secret Hobby

"I can't believe it!"

"I know! It's amazing!"

"So... realistic... it's actually a bit creepy..."

"Are you _sure_ you're feeling alright, Finn?"

The others stared as the sharpshooter unveiled his latest project;

"Fellow Storm Hawks, I give you: a 1/80th scale model of the _Condor_!"

Author's Note: List of speakers, in order from first to last;

Piper

Aerrow

Max

Starling


	10. Practical Joke, Part 1

"I don't believe you..."

"You should totally do it, dude!"

"I most certainly will not..."

"Aw, c'mon! Why not!?"

"Because it's _your_ suggestion, Finn..."

"You know, I think you should do it, too, Max..."

"Starling, don't indulge him... he won't leave me alone about it if he thinks it's okay..."

"It's just one, Max..."

"Fine... but I won't be held responsible for anything that happens as a result..."

After a heavy sigh, the Onyxian put the whoopee cushion in place... he _knew_ how Stork would react...


	11. Practical Joke, Part 2

"I can't believe Stork did that..."

"I can... I _told_ you not to encourage him, but _no one_ listens to me..."

"Max, can it... _you're_ the one who put it there..."

"Don't you go blaming this on me, Starling... I didn't want to do it in the first place..."

"Then why did you?"

"Because, Piper, otherwise, Finn wouldn't _shut up_..."

"Well, I guess you guys will have some explaining to do when he comes to, huh?"

Stork laid sprawled on the floor, having banged his head, again, after sitting in his favorite chair. Unseen by anyone but the people doing it, a blond and a Wallop exchanged money...

Author's Note: I know, I shouldn't be mean to Stork... don't worry, he gets even...


	12. Getting Even, Part 1

"So, Stork... what did you want to talk to me about?" Starling asked nonchalantly.

"I... want to get... even... with Max..." He said evilly. She chuckled a bit.

"Well, good luck..." She looked from left to right, and then continued.

"You're going to have a hard time pranking Max... at least, without _my_ help..." She smiled slyly, and the Merb joined her in evil laughter... this wasn't going to be good...


	13. Getting Even, Part 2

"Maaaaaxxxxx! Maaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxx!" A ghostly voice filled the speakers in Max's room. Max's eyes opened a bit wider.

"Wh-what? Who's there?" The warrior stood quickly, drawing his weapons and scanning the room. He saw no one.

"Maaaxxx, I'm coming to get yooouuu!" The unseen speaker continued. Now genuinely disconcerted, the hybrid walked slowly out into the hallway, eyes darting around in suspicion. Still, he saw no one there.

"Show yourself, you coward!" Max's voice wavered a bit, fear now apparent on his face.

"Soooonnn, you'll be sleeping foorrreeevvveerrr!" The voice taunted. Max's eyes were as wide as they could get, and if no one had met him before, they could swear he looked like Stork, if he were taller and a different color. The Onyxian twitched a bit, his eye following suite. Suddenly, a nasty wind picked up in the hallway, followed by a thick fog.

"What's happening around here!?" The hybrid backed up slowly, until his back hit against someone. He slowly turned around, and standing there... was a ghost!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Max screamed at the top of his lungs, and took off running, slamming headfirst into the door at the end of the hallway. As he slowly got back to his feet, groaning softly, he saw the ghost again, who'd closed the gap between them.

"Please, don't take me away!! I'm too young to die!!!!" The hybrid pleaded with his uninvited guest, and as the apparition grew closer, he finally spoke again.

"Then stop playing pranks on Stttooorrrkkk! Or else..." The ghost ran his finger along his neck, watching as the Onyxian got down on his hands and knees.

"Yes, yes! Anything!!!" He watched with awe as the ghost moved to take something off, and suddenly... it was Stork! He and another unseen partner laughed their heads off at his plight.

"_That's_ how to play a prank..." The Merb finally said, still chuckling a bit. Max scowled but said nothing.

"So, how's it feel to be pranked, Max?" Starling said over the intercom. His eyebrows shot up, then he lowered his head a bit.

"It sucks..." He said softly.

"Yeah... truce?" The pilot held out his hand. Max gladly shook it.

"Truce..." He grumbled.

"There... that's better..." Starling said again, this time walking out from behind the door Max had run into.

"You know, Starling, I think there's hope for him yet..." Stork said, laughing a bit. As Starling joined him, Max sighed loudly, defeated.

Author's Note: I know, it's long for a drabble... this joke will come into play again... trust me...


	14. Assassin Flowers

"Stork, what's the matter?" Piper asked as the nervous Merb shot glances at everything on the bridge. He jumped, startled by her sudden inquiry.

"I-I don't know... it seems I've got a secret admirer... and they don't know I _hate_ Sky Lilies!" The pilot responded, glaring pointedly at the offending bouquet. It sat in a vase, beautifully decorated with a silver bow around the middle, placed on the edge of the meeting table.

"What if it's an assassin? I might be allergic!"

"We don't _have_ to keep them, Stork..." The navigator caught wind of a soft whoosh as the bridge door closed behind someone.

"I'll be right back, okay? Just stay calm..." She cautiously grabbed the vase and carried it out of the room, and after she'd dumped its contents into the garbage, she entered the kitchen, planning to wash the vase for reuse. Max caught her eye as he snickered to himself, a bit too loudly.

"Max, what's so funny?" She queried. Max turned around so she could see his evil smile.

"I sent Stork some flowers..."

Author's Note: Good thing he's on their team...


	15. 15 Minutes of Fame

"This _has_ to stop!" Piper finally said in frustration. Aerrow next to her nodded, a bit more angrily than he realized. Junko nodded as well, as did Stork and Starling. Aerrow pulled them all toward the meeting table.

"Alright, I say we storm Finn's room, and-"

"What're you gonna to my room!?" Finn suddenly interjected worriedly.

"Finn!? But, if that's not _you_, then who...?" A worried look crossed their faces as they all thought the same thing; there's an intruder on board, and he's doing a bad impression of Finn's music. The extremely high speed, heavy metal thrashing continued as the Hawks looked high and low, finding nothing. Then, they heard a deep voice of accompaniment, keeping pace with the impossibly fast rhythm.

"Okay, let's get this guy!" Aerrow said. Finally, mercifully, they found the source of their eerie mood music. As they rushed through the door, shouting wildly in anticipation of an all-out brawl, they suddenly stopped short.

"Um..." Stork said, after an eternity of silence. Their "guest" was clad in all-black: paint around his eyes, a spiked collar on his neck. The outfit was what cinched it; a grey skull graced the front of his short-sleeve t-shirt, and the form-fitting denim jeans left nothing to be desired. What was the most outstanding was the chain belt, which rattled in time with his movements. Their aspiring star was in the middle of a guitar solo, his black tongue extended in a provocative manner as he played. When he finally noticed them, he stopped short, eyes impossibly wide as he dropped the guitar to the floor with a definitive "clang."

"MAX!?"

Author's Note: Don't tell me you didn't see _that_ coming... lol...


	16. Appointment

"Max, where are you?" Starling called out. The Storm Hawks were looking for the normally fearless warrior. Something Starling said, however, made the Onyxian run screaming in terror.

"Max, love, we can't do this all day..."

"You'll never take me alive! NEVER!!!" He suddenly shouted, immediately cursing to himself softly.

"This way, everybody..." Aerrow said softly. They followed after him, straight onto the bridge, where Stork stood alone at the controls. He did seem to be grimacing from the pain of a loud noise.

"Come on... you'll be okay, hun... I promise, it won't be that bad..." She spoke as a mother would to a small child. The hybrid's knees rattled loudly above their heads, and the group looked up to find him clinging desperately to the rafters. He let out a loud scream as they spotted him. Junko readied his knuckle busters.

"Max, are you gonna behave, or is Junko gonna have to come up there after you?" She pleaded with him. Timidly, he slowly crawled back down, groaning in defeat. She came over and patted his back comfortingly.

"It's alright, Max... everyone's afraid of something... now, let's go get you that flu shot..." His eyes grew wide in fear.

"You said it was just a checkup!!" He suddenly leapt back up over their heads, screaming as he renewed the standoff. The whole group groaned loudly. This was gonna be harder than they thought...

Author's Note: Been awhile since I've put out a drabble... hope people are still reading this thing..


	17. Money Management

"Aww, man!"

"What is it, Finn?"

"I don't have enough to get this thing, Starling!"

"What, this sight?"

"Yeah... I'm only short, like, 2 pieces, but I _need_ it..."

"Well, whatcha want me to do about it?"

"Well, I was hoping you-know-who could spot me again..."

Sigh...

"Alright, I'll ask... but you know how he gets..."

...

"No. No way."

"And why not, Max?"

"Because..." The hybrid glared pointedly at the blond. "He already owes me 3,826 gold pieces!"

"Aww, man!!"


End file.
